CONTEMPLATING ON GETTING OLD

 

“It is old age, rather than death, that is to be contrasted with life.  Old age is life’s parody, whereas death transforms life into a destiny.”

                                                            —Simone de Beauvoir, The Coming of Age

Most of my peers have retired already.  Some were already made while others depend on their meager pension and the rest; perhaps, seek solace from the generosity of their children.  Those abroad have found a niche worthy of emulation but one could be amazed at their tenacity during those periods when they were still struggling to have a place under the sun.  Great toil is etched on their faces.  But on the whole, majority could find time to express whatever it is they wanted away from the glare of organizational lights and administrative compulsions.

*****

I am looking forward to reach that time when I could just sit down, read a good book, write my thoughts in my diary, tinker in arts and contemplate on what happened during the past years, short it may seem.  It is short because there are too many gadgets to enjoy, too many stimulating movies to watch, too many great literary works to appreciate, too many skills to learn, too many songs the melody of which is too tempting  to enjoy and listen to, just as it make one’s soul soar into heavenly bliss.  Science is exciting all the more.  It is already on the verge of discovering immortality.    History is clear and much defined.  There is information on about anything; one cannot afford anymore to be ignorant.  It is therefore a wonderful world and a beautiful time to live!

*****

For those with a penchant for appreciation, life has no end at all.  It is even tragic not to experience what ordinarily are simple matters that abound.  But time waits for no one.  One day you comb a full crop of hair and suddenly, after a few summers, the pate is already as shiny as chrome.  One day you are courting a sweet girl of 16 and then in a few compelling period, you wake up to find a wrinkled looking stranger beside you, creased skin just like you.  And while you were still imagining the youthful bravado of masculinity, after a few changes in national leadership, you find yourself waving an ID of a senior citizen seeking precious discounts already.  The shadow is deceiving if one chances to see oneself upon the mirror.

*****

I preoccupy myself reading books about the future.  It is an interesting fare.  It is like attempting to defy nature by grasping ideas which my future great grand children will enjoy or experience.  It is like staying time and challenging the gods of limited existence that there is a way to live almost eternally.  After reading Alvin Toffler’s seminal book, “Future Shock” in the early seventies, I already have prepared myself on what to expect years later.  I knew already how to behave when the time came.    Hence, 40 years or more later I have the competence what to comprehend.  Reading some futuristic materials, I would have known already what matters and conditions the next and succeeding generations will encounter.  It is like adding two hundred years more from my base age.

*****

But I am still saddled with organizational work.  I am still actively employed and casting an envious and moistened glimpse at my peers who are already relaxing somewhere.  I am still badgered by responsibilities which the youth must be exposed already.  My room is full of books, the other half of the stock I have as yet to browse.  I have already prepared my retirement speech as far back as 8 years ago.  But earning for some upkeep is still the order of my day.

*****

Not that I cannot survive decently without work.  I have saved something to keep myself at bay any which way.  But I still have some children, friends and followers dependent on my resources and productive pursuits.  I must be moving around for them.  And for me it is better where I am situated than where they are.  I would rather be the fountainhead than a bucket.  I just hope that in time they will also cast the same expression as mine and pay forward to the next succeeding batch of their own.  I just hope that I could do it in just a few summers.  It would be tragic for me to be still up and about working on my butt in my nineties!  The books I intend to read may no longer be that readable already!

*****

Meanwhile, writing down thoughts and sharing it is an enjoyable activity.  It is gratifying and very assuring.   It exposes vulnerabilities and on the other hand, it projects humanity.  It is also an admission which most of my contemporaries may also want to agree in silence.

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About vjtesoro

A perpetual student of Corrections

Posted on August 2, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

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