2013: FIRST DAY
I promise myself to be more kind; to be more understanding; to be more forward looking; to be more generous; to be more mature; to be friendlier; to be more profound; to be more prayerful.
While I have lived and unconsciously followed each of them in the past, there was little awareness and emphasis to it. It was more of instinct and accommodation. There was no deliberation. More incidentals.
I never had this situation the previous year, always doing everything according to cue, according to the prevailing notices; according to the dictates of environment. I was for a time a reactionary and if at all there is something creative or things that I ought to do outside of the box, so to speak, it comes mainly as a consequence of opportunity. I relied on the given and ignored the possibility of creating something.
Now, I am more cognizant of these qualities, call it a product of an advancing age but these are attributes of winners—young or old; attributes of accomplished people—businessmen or public figures; attributes of those who flourish in their situation—in their respective career or profession. It is in the realization of these matters that I would try to live up for the year.
For sure there will be inanities, streaks of stupidities, stains of idiocy and the burdensome acts of senselessness. There will be periods of ridiculousness and absurdity but these are spices, unwholesome it may be, but always a part of the landscape. It is inescapable; at times even unpreventable. It comes within the territory as the saying goes. But it should never detract a focused mind from something more significant.
Only a simple gesture of being true to oneself is where happiness can be found. Knowing where to start and end, where to begin and conclude, when to lay up and lay low, when to give and receive, when to forget and learn.
On this first day, a blank paper stares at me, ready to be filled up. Will I scribble or draw something? Will I write a letter or compose a poem? Will I crumple or fold it? Will I file with nothing on it or use it as mantle for my coffee mug?
I decided to draft something for my loved ones to peer into instead. I decided to lay down my impression with the hope that it will outlive my brittle humanity. I know because I will always write something about love.
And love never dies.