Questions, questions

questioning

“Bakit kaya ganun?  Kapag nag-eenjoy ka, ang bilis ng oras.  Samantalang pag may problema parang ang tagal ng oras?”

“Bakit ganun dito, yung gusto mo hindi laging nasusunod, yung hindi mo inaasahan, yun ang nangyayari?”

“Why is it that the one you love is not exactly the one in love with you?  Or conversely, the one you love is never in love with you in the first place.  Simply put, the one in love with you is not your type.”

“Why is it, when it rains, it pours.”  Your expectations actually are not what it seems to be.

My mind was nowhere in time and would merely indulge relaxation by way of questioning.

****

It was an exasperating afternoon and bureaucrats are prone to exhaustion when a deluge of responsibilities are heaped on them.  Government work is generally wholesome, light and less hassles.  But these days, sulit ang gobyerno sa pasueldo.  An annual conference was to be held in my area and everyone is given a series, a number of chores to work on.  In my case, since I occupy a post in the local totem pole, I am either the fount of ideas or the template for blame later.

Work in government is very enjoyable.  It is a 24/7 affair mostly dedicated to watching.  One is not enjoined to push initiative, because in the bureaucracy it is a crime.  Pag magkusa ang isang empleyado, chances are pag-iisipan na siya ng masama.  The bureaucracy is also factory of intrigue.  Ang mapapala ng isang may initiative ay ang mapagbintangan na kaya niya gusto isulong ang isang project ay meron siyang kikitahin dun.  So better on the safe side, quiet na lang.

*****

I have a friend, a young lawyer recently employed in government and when I asked what are the programs he was involved in, his immediate response was:  still waiting for orders.  According to him, mas madami daw ang oras na nakatunganga siya than on working for something.  If tasks however were to be given naman, its sabay-sabay, patong-patong and the timeline is even too tight.  But luckily, such concerns daw ay spurs for the day.  Mas malamang daw ang walang ginagawa kaya for youthful and idealistic people like him, parang gusto niyang sunugin ang opisina nila para may magawa lang daw!

*****

Sometimes if you have read so much—-fiction and non-fiction—you realize that there is so much knowledge that you no longer wish to add some more by writing and sharing a number of mumbo-jumbo, ideas which after a few years might even be declared as rubbish.  Surely a waste of time and effort.

Remember, a few years ago when cell phones started and it was the analog type?  It was a craze then to have one.  Imagine one can communicate a la James Bond anywhere, anytime and the phone was just in the pocket ready for any eventuality.  I had three of them before.  Then a few summers went by and the design was changed.  From the bulky model came the sleek, thinner version.  Small was beautiful.  I never wanted to part with my vintage cell phone because it was working well for me until I heard the young generation referring to my cellphone as “pangkudkod ng yelo”!  I almost buried all my units in my backyard.

*****

Question, questions and more.  Sometimes it is more enjoyable to ask questions than thinking of solutions.  Indeed, it is more fun to travel than to reach the desitnation.

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About vjtesoro

A perpetual student of Corrections

Posted on January 17, 2013, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. You just have to follow your road…your journey maybe someone elses quest…

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  2. Alam mo Chief, I often feel that way..looking at myself in exasperation asking my self why the hell am I still doing things which I may choose not to do, and foolishly doing it anyway with the calming thought that it is what exactly God wants me to do. Like pushing for the upliftment of the Reformation Program…when everyone else ( of course except you and a few others) think that it’s just plain stupidity or opting for recognition of some sort, or ” nagpapalakas lang at nagpapasikat”. Because just like what you said..it’s a mortal sin to have INITIATIVE AND GENUINE CONCERN for the inmates. As one of the primary movers of the Reformation program, I experience endless struggle of raising our voice and forcing our way through these meetings. conferences, hurdling stumbling blocks thrown our way by either insecure, ignorant or stupid people, who donot know the true mandate of BUCOR. The Reformation Group does a bureauwide task of promoting and intensifying the Reformation Program, without additional compensation or allowance and without any other perks or priveleges. We just hold on to our deep commitment that something can be done to benefit as many inmates as possible, and that we can , in our own small way, touch the lives and help these hopeless , forsaken creatures rebuild their broken lives.

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