ITS JOKE TIME!

joke story

 Two friends agreed to attend their respective church services.  One was a Catholic, another a Moslem.  They entered the Catholic church first.

Moslem:  Pare, hindi ba natin iiwan ang sandals dito sa labas ng simbahan?

Catholic:  Hindi na pare, delikado, baka mawala pa yan, isuot mo na lang.

The next day, they went to attend the services in the mosque.  The Moslem took off his sandals and about to enter the place when  the Catholic guy whispered to his friend.

Catholic:  Hindi kaya mawala ang sapatos ko dito sa labas pare?

Moslem:  Huwag kang mag-alala pare, wala ditong Katoliko!

 *****

 A very religious man lived right next door to an atheist. The religious man prayed every single day and night, spending much time at church, while the atheist never even thought of such acts.

However, the atheist’s had a good life. An excellent, well-payed job, and a beautiful wife, lovely, healthy, children, whereas the religious man’s job was stressful and his wages were low, his wife was getting fatter every day ,and his kids were obnoxious, and non loving.

So one day, while deep into his regular prayer, he looked towards heaven and asked, “Panginoon ko, araw-araw  pinupuri Kita, humihingi ako palagian ng gabay sa Iyo sa aking mga suliranin at kinukumpisal ko sa Iyo ang lahat ng aking pagkukulang at kasalanan.  Ngunit ang kapitbahay ko ay nabibiyayaan, samantalang hindi ito naniniwala sa Iyo at hindi rin nagdarasal.  Ang masakit nito ako pa ang naghihirap at naghihikahos.  Bakit po ganun?”

 

A great voice bellowed out from above, “ KASI HINDI NIYA AKO INAABALA SA LAHAT NG PANAHON!”

 *****

 There was some trouble in the computation of pledges in a village church that the parish deacon decided to to ask his pastoral leaders on basic math.   There was a housewife, an accountant and lawyer.  They  were asked by the priest, “Ilan ang 2 + 2?

 The housewife replies:  “Apat po.”

The accountant, thinking that it was a trick, says:  “Babalansehen ko po muna.”

The lawyer, stood up, went near the priest and whispered:  “Ilan po ang gusto ninyo.”

 *****

 General Fabian C. Ver was compelled to organize an intel division in his office but he must have to decide and pick a good soldier to be at his side.  He required all commanders of his units to send in the best representatives that could be found.  Three soldiers stood admirably out of hundreds of recommendees.

General Ver knew that the three soldiers performed well in a complicated exam and passed through the gauntlet of difficult exercises.  He therefore decided to ask them a simple question instead.

Inside the grand office, General Ver sat on a chair in front of an oval tea table beside his desk.  There was a vacant chair on which the applicant will use.  This was for the General to observe the demeanor of his future aide de camp, his prospective confidante.  The first soldier was ushered in.

General Ver:  “Anak, ilan ang 1 plus 1?

 First soldier:  “Dalawa po Sir!”

——-

General Ver, stood up to meet the next soldier and asked the same question.

Second soldier:  “Bale po Sir, one for you and one for me.”

 General Ver smiled and was silently impressed.

——-

General Ver, personally accosted the third and on the way to the tea table asked the same question.

Third soldier:  “Sir, ano po yan TWO, all for you Sir , bahala na po Sir kayo sa akin.”

General Ver shouted:  SA WAKAS!  IKAW ANG AKING HINAHANAP TALAGA!

 *****

 

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About vjtesoro

A perpetual student of Corrections

Posted on January 29, 2013, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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