JOKE LANG ITO HA.
While walking down the street one day, a political stalwart of UNA party is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
“Isang malugod na pa-anyaya,” says St. Peter. “Pero bago ka tumuloy, parang may konting problema nga lang. Bihira kami makakita ng mataas na opisyal ng gobyerno dito kasi, kaya medyo hirap kami kung ano gagawin sa iyo.”
“Okay lang po, sana patuluyin nyo na lang ako dahil naging parehas naman ako.” says the UNA stalwart.
“Sabagay, kaya lang may mga ilang tagubilin ang itaas. Ganito na lang. Isang araw ka muna sa impierno, tapos isang araw din sa kalangitan. Tapos nun, mamimili ka na kung saan mo gusto mamalagi magpakailan man.”
“Alam po ninyo na talagang gusto ko na dito sa langit.” says the political stalwart.
“Pasensiya na brod, kaya lang may ganyang kautusan dito na dapat ipatupad” And with that, St. Peter escorts the UNA stalwart to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a club and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him, everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, hug him, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar. Also present is the Devil (a former political stalwart of a Coalition party, too), who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes.
They are having such a good time that, before he realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves while the elevator rises. The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.
“Ngayon naman ay bisitahin mo ang kalangitan.” So 24 hours pass with the UNA stalwart joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
“Okay, naka isang araw ka sa impierno at ganun din sa kalangitan. Saan mo na gusto mamalagi.” He reflects for a minute, then the stalwart answers: “Well, hindi ko naisip noon, ang ibig kong sabihin po ay maayos sa kalangitan pero mas okay na sa akin ang impierno.”
So Saint Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell. Now the doors of the elevator open and he is in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags. The Devil comes over to the stalwart and lays an arm on his neck.
“Teka, parang hindi ko maintindihan ito,” stammers the poltical stalwart. “Kahapon nandito ako, may golf course at masarap ang pagkain, nagsasayawan at nagkakasayahan. Pero ngayon puro basura at nakaka awa tingnan ang mga kaibigan ko at mga dati kong kasamahan.”
The Devil looks at him, smiles and says, “Kahapon kasi brod, NANGANGAMPANYA kami. Ngayon tapos na ang PAGBOTO mo sa amin.”