A LETTER TO MY FRIENDS
Greetings my dear brethren,
Actually, I am at a loss if at all I would be asked to describe a friend. There are so many description of what it is. Accordingly, there are good friends, fair weather friends, accidental friends, instant friends, etc. At first glance, there are also best friends and friends of your friends. This generation has defined friendship in a narrow sense by introducing the so-called BFF or best friend forever as if there is no limit or challenge to encounter.
There is also a new friend in contrast with an old friend; a young friend with that of an elderly friend. There is also the ex-friend, one who once was a part of you but money or jealousy set you apart. And then, the boss friend, one whom you look up to similar to a parent but is more protective of your turf or interest.
As there are so many classification and categories of friendship, so is my relation to my friends. Although I would rather not arrange them in batch or column but would rather accept them, as they come, as they really are—as plain and simple—friend.
I don’t really care if friendship is used to exploit or explore someone. I don’t really care if I encounter hardship or penury because of it. I don’t give a damn if there is curse appended to it. For me, a friend is a friend is a friend.
History reveals that betrayals are more of a natural response among friends. Treachery is almost an element. Disloyalty and perfidy can only be expressed in the course of friendship gone haywire. In friendship, there is danger and pain. But it is also in friendship where salvation and deliverance is sweeter.
I grew up in an environment that makes a person whole. My orientation is more renaissance than romantic. I learned early that one could survive and be an island all by himself. It is easier to be alone than with someone. You are not only forced to work for the success of a relationship, you also do not impose or expect someone to adjust to your idiosyncrasies. It is fair for everyone.
If at all I would be enjoined to live in a group, I would rather present myself as a friend, rather than move around looking for one. I see myself as complement rather than an accessory; a counterpart more than a decoration. I am never in search of friendship if it would only reduce someone. I would rather have someone improving as a consequence of my existence.
And so alone I hop from one genre to another. Adjusting from one field onwards another. Brokering plans, entering into various areas in search of dreams, formulating opportunities and in the process creating friends along the way. The more I move around, the more friends I make, the more people I meet, the more occasion to be acquainted with humanity.
I project myself as friendly as I can, I share ideas, I share experiences, I share almost everything I have. I am neither discriminating nor astute. I am never envious or covetous. I can relate with a bum and collaborate with a genius. I can live in a cave and be at ease in a palace. I can be pleasant in prison and be amiable inside a church. I can be anywhere. I am never choosy. I believe in the dictum “bloom where you are planted.”
Wherever I am I feel fulfilled. I can already count my blessings. But there are instances when I would find myself surrounded by people. It is at times incumbent in my stars that wherever I find myself in a particular area, there are people who would later constitute a circle where I always would wind up. They navigate on the same stream I would find myself paddling. My association with them would later be seen as a friendly overture for collaboration. Some would find my cause and would find it similar to them. We co-exist precisely because of it. As I move, so they would also. Any error committed along the way would likewise be seen as a collective error with me at the top. That would also be a realization that despite my keen understanding of danger, of skillfully eluding hazards, here I am confronted with scores of them, which at times are brought about by careless acts.
I am also never given to blaming others. Neither would I retreat for being undiscriminating. I would just shrug my shoulders and analyze things with a view of changing strategies as events unfold never to be shortchanged or fooled by incidents ahead of me. The problem, I dare say, is not mine or from those who are close to me. The problem is the inability to act, inability to understand and inability to skip a sink hole. While I have such readiness, the company I keep has no orientation about it. As they fail and crash, so does my own prestige also.
But there is no rancor on my part. I along with my friends are subject to any trial and tribulation. I can be a part of failure, I can join a painful struggle, I can also withstand difficulty along with the great masses. After all, I am but a bit player in the universe, very mortal and naturally corporeal. Like any other living creature, I bleed, I get hurt, I am subject to Father Time. I get sick and experience frustration. I exhibit every weakness of a human being except one quality which I disdain and has completely ignored, that of cowardice. But just like any other man who believes in luck, I could only sit back, smile and be contented in contemplation, thinking that I can succeed in any endeavor at any given time whenever I set my mind into.
That is one area I wish my friends would internalize too.