I find everything that I could lay my hands on, even on matters which my mind could reach as something funny. I get amused at how people react, how they walk, how they speak, how they think and even how they emote.
I get my ounce of laughter on almost everyone especially from my friends, mostly those closest to me. And every time I have this conversation with them, I cannot control myself. Every occasion I have with them is a treat. I get all the hilarity I expect just having them beside me.
There was Tolayts, a serious looking figure, who took care of a talking bird, a black mynah sometime ago. He got it from a bargain store and he was promised by the keeper that constant prodding, usually by rote, the bird could mimic a human voice and replicate repeatedly what has been heard. And my friend, one night, decided to check on the mynah which was about to dose off. He covered the cage with a black veil and in a slit whispered “Tolayts, handsome, handsome, handsome.” It took him an hour for the exercise, and thereafter, closed the veil and went over to us, myself and a group of security personnel, excusing himself to retire.
After we heard the closure of his door, we tip toed and went to the covered cage and unwrapped it. We encircled the cage and repeatedly chanted our version and after two hours, covered the cage as if nothing was conducted.
The morning after, Tolayts went straight to the cage, folded the veil, smiled heartedly to greet the bird, as the bird began to recite “Tolayts, UGLY,UGLY,UGLY!” The bird never reached noon!
I will not forget a loyal friend, Ka Romy, may he rest in peace. He was my constant companion whenever I eat in my favourite resto somewhere in the suburbs of Metro Manila.
One day, he ordered a “Tapsilog”, a combination meal comprising of fried egg, a spliced fried beef mutton and garlic rice. I ordered the same. But he was fuming mad because, the fried yolk had black corners. He yelled at the chef and exclaimed, “ You burned my friend egg! I want another!”
The cashier checked the plateful and expressed dismay too. I also checked it and calmed down my friend. I said, “That is okay. It’s not burned. It may have fallen and it was only mud.”
And he had this habit of grabbing the wheels so that he could drive for me. But I would frustrate him every now and then. I would rather drive myself than meet an accident because of lousy driving by another.
One day, while driving and Ka Romy was on passenger side, I complained that my migraine was manifesting and I needed to doze off. He immediately volunteered and told me, “Better leave the driving to me and you can sleep.” Knowing that Ka Romy was not my kind of a good driver if I was the passenger, I merely remarked, “You just stay where you are and if ever I fell sleep, for you to wake me up!”
Ka Romy was flustered, “What if we get an accident!!?”
I softly replied, “I am a good driver brod. I asked you to wake me up because if I fell asleep, we may overshoot and reach another province!”
There is laughter when you treat your friends like a fellow idiot. I would always punctuate with a punch line whenever they would advance an idea. And that is where the guffaw is. They may look like smart at the onset but whenever I remind them that they look more of a faggot that is when the house goes down.
Some of my close friends were a collection of characters. One of them simply cannot resist scamming another. The other would just build a flourishing business of influence peddling using my name as front. There are others who would use proximity to my office to earn their upkeep. There are those who would outsmart another and leave them behind enemy lines. There are those who would sit around and take note of the foolishness around which becomes a ready topic for our amusement.
Had I the misfortune of not having them, I would have been the Secretary of Justice long ago.
But there is a twist of fate somewhere.
I had this luck to have friends who accompany me in my dreary days, translating the monotonous period into feats of humorous instances.
Life, indeed, is better that way.