Finally, there are no more enforced organizational duties to attend to on cue.   No more balancing acts.  No more enforced commitment.  No more desolated nights.   I can wake up anytime in the morning although I am a morning person ever since.  I wake up at 4AM whether I have work or even on weekends.  But this time around even if I have awaken early, there is nothing to indulge with or anything that would push me into rushing.  I can smoothly pace around and walk slowly if I want to.  No sweat at all.

On the whole, I am in a period of absolute relaxation.  I could even afford to be forgetful, dreamy and careless.  On a regular basis,  I take a nap at any time of the day.

As soon as I am up, there was no compulsion on my part to push myself any further just to dip my whole body in chilling waters.  I could take a bath later and stretch to perspire without any obstacle.  I can skip heavy breakfast and nimble on crunchy fries before deciding whether a healthy chocolate drink would suffice or consume a round of garlic rice and dried fish.

The daily grind of going to work on time, on meeting colleagues and friends, on reviewing reports and solving administrative problems, on harmonizing relationships and on responding properly on managerial matters, I tell you, it drains a person of all the calories he has ingested for the full week!  The pressures, the stressful situations, the burdens of office, the expectations, the tensions, the intrigues, the usual structures,  the forces that inhabit every corner of the office, the dehumanizing effect of routine, everything virtually makes or breaks a worker mentally, emotionally and physically.  Those were days gone by. 

Finally, I am out of work.  I have grown old in my profession.  I must bow out.  So what if I would become jobless, I have been working almost the entire period of my lifespan.  I still have a period left to contemplate on what remains to be enjoyed.  If I am not in my library enjoying my books, I am out there on the road relishing the delights of traveling.

Definitely, I deserve to have a soft life.  I no longer look like a battle hardened warrior in the first place.

As soon as I reached the age of 61, I thought of retiring from government service.  I am through with civic duties having reached the zenith of my career in the organizational plantilla.  Since my entrance in government at the age of 23 I had accumulated 38 years—35 years of which were devoted as head of facility.  Sometimes I wondered whether I have passed through youthfulness at all.

Henceforth, on being fair to myself, I was looking forward to an easy existence and eventually live like a couch potato.

Well, yes, I would rather fold up and give the limelight to the succeeding youth in the organization.  The lure of a quiet life is beckoning and within reach.

When I was in my prime, I made some plans.  I said to myself, “For the first 20 years, I will be in school.  Next 20 years, I will get employment in government.  Then another 20 years in the private sector utilizing my skills learned from school and experience in government.  On my 60th I will be happily loafing around with my savings.”  That was my simple formula on how to live through.  There were minor adjustments though because not even the most planned program ever would be followed to a T.  But by and large, my exposures were basically along the same route.

Like anybody else, I had my shares of triumphs and frustrations, successes and failures but there is nothing to neither resent nor feel bitter.   I am happy with the thought that all my loved ones have reached their maturity and stability in their chosen direction.   I never lamented on anything at all.

I chose to fade away in some remote areas, distant and far from the prying eyes of publicity.  Where lush vegetation flirt the lungs, where sun shines its pure rays, where food is fresh and cheap, where my resources can be stretched and where nature seduces the mind.

In the twilight years, the rewarding part is the solitude inspired by scholarship, arts and contemplation.  It is the thought that for once I was part of anybody’s universe, one who is always conscious of offering assistance if liquid enough and has never been a burden to humanity.

About vjtesoro

A perpetual student of Corrections

Posted on November 29, 2016, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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